Music legend Billy Joel once tried to take his life twice after being consumed by guilt over an affair with his best friend’s wife, a new documentary reveals.
In the emotional documentary “Billy Joel: And So It Goes”, the 76-year-old Piano Man opens up about his darkest chapter — one that began in the early 1970s when his rising career collided with a forbidden love affair that almost cost him everything, including his life.
Joel, currently facing a brain disorder, revisited the painful period when he fell in love with Elizabeth Weber, the wife of his bandmate and closest friend, Jon Small. At the time, the two men were bandmates in the short-lived heavy metal duo Attila.
From rock dreams to betrayal
Billy, then just 21, had moved in with Small, his wife Elizabeth, and their young child. But what began as friendship and musical ambition turned into a romantic entanglement that exploded both the band and the friendship.
Joel confessed that he couldn’t contain his feelings and admitted to Small that he had fallen for his wife. The fallout was immediate and devastating.
“I was just in love with a woman. I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker,” Joel said in the documentary, as shared by GLOBE Magazine.
Suicide attempts and hospitalization
Overwhelmed by shame and self-loathing, Joel sank into a deep depression. He first attempted suicide by consuming an entire bottle of sleeping pills. According to his sister, he fell into a coma for several days and was later rushed to the hospital by Small.
Still reeling from guilt, Joel attempted a second suicide by drinking Lemon Pledge furniture polish, determined to end the pain he felt from betraying his closest friend.
“I was just in a lot of pain. I thought, that’s it, I don’t want to live anymore,” Joel revealed.
Jon Small, reflecting on the traumatic experience, said Joel’s anguish was real and profound. He believed Billy’s pain over the betrayal was so deep that it nearly killed him.
“He loved me that much… that it killed him to hurt me that much,” said Small, who later forgave his former friend.
The aftermath and reconciliation
Despite the turmoil, Billy and Elizabeth eventually married in 1973, with Elizabeth taking on the role of his manager. The marriage lasted until 1982. However, the emotional scars from the affair and its consequences lingered for years.
Joel’s honesty in the documentary sheds light on a part of his past rarely discussed in public. From sleeping in laundromats after being left homeless to rebuilding his career and personal life, his story is a testament to survival through deep regret.
Jaja has a degree in journalism and took classes in international law and business communication. Her career spans roles at prominent international media outlets, including International Business Times, Celebeat and Delightful Philippines. As a news editor, Jaja covered a wide range of beats, including legal, business, economy, cryptocurrency, personal finance, gaming, technology, and entertainment.