The late Queen Elizabeth II, revered for her grace and composure, maintained a warm public demeanor even during turbulent times in her family. But as insiders reveal, her relationship with Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, was far from idyllic. Beneath the surface of royal protocols and public smiles, tensions brewed that left an indelible mark on the final years of the monarch’s reign.
Since the queen’s passing in 2022, royal confidants have come forward with startling claims, shedding light on what the queen truly thought of Meghan and her role in the royal family. From tiara disputes to the controversial choice of the name “Lilibet,” the relationship between the queen and the Duchess of Sussex was reportedly fraught with conflict, misunderstandings, and irreparable strain.
Early Tensions: The Tiara Controversy
One of the earliest signs of discord reportedly surfaced during the preparations for Prince Harry and Meghan’s 2018 wedding. In his memoir, Spare, Harry recounts a disagreement over the bride’s choice of a wedding tiara. After the queen personally assisted Meghan in selecting a tiara, Harry claimed they struggled to secure access to the piece due to obstacles created by Angela Kelly, the queen’s trusted dresser.
“She was being obstructive, obviously,” Harry wrote, noting that he refrained from bringing the issue to his grandmother to avoid sparking a confrontation. Insiders, however, suggest the queen would have likely sided with Kelly, as she reportedly disapproved of Harry’s “temper tantrums” during the wedding planning process.
Adding to the tension, some within the palace questioned whether a divorcée like Meghan should wear a veil at the ceremony. According to royal author Tom Bower, one of these voices was the queen herself, who found Meghan’s Givenchy wedding gown “too white” for a second marriage. These concerns, coupled with Prince Philip’s cautious warnings about Meghan’s potential impact on the family, laid the foundation for what would become an increasingly strained relationship.
“Megxit” and the Breaking Point
The queen’s private grievances reportedly deepened when Harry and Meghan announced their decision to step back from royal duties in 2020, a move dubbed “Megxit.” Sources claim the queen felt blindsided and hurt by the couple’s ultimatum, interpreting it as an affront to her authority and the monarchy.
“She believed it was cruel that Meghan forced Harry to choose between her and his family,” an insider said. “Their attempt to dictate the terms of their royal roles went against everything the monarchy stood for.”
The situation worsened after the couple’s explosive 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey, where they alleged that an unnamed royal family member had made racist remarks about their son, Archie. The queen, known for her unyielding discretion, issued a measured response, stating that “recollections may vary.” Yet, the damage to the family’s public image was undeniable, and the rift between the Sussexes and the Firm grew wider.
The Lilibet Controversy
Perhaps the most contentious moment came in June 2021 with the birth of Harry and Meghan’s daughter, Lilibet Diana. The couple claimed they had received the queen’s blessing to use her childhood nickname, “Lilibet,” as their daughter’s first name. However, royal biographer Robert Hardman alleges in The Making of a King that the queen was “as angry as I’d ever seen her” over the choice.
The queen reportedly told aides, “The only thing I own is my name. And now they’ve taken that.” While she publicly congratulated the couple, she notably refused to confirm giving her permission for the name, leaving the matter shrouded in controversy.
This episode, insiders suggest, was the final straw for the queen, who felt increasingly disillusioned with the Sussexes. “She believed they had everything they could possibly want, yet it was never enough,” a source said.
The Queen’s Perspective
While Meghan often praised the queen as “warm and inviting,” those close to Elizabeth claim she saw through Meghan’s charm. Royal biographer Ingrid Seward noted, “The queen was upset when things started to unravel. She felt like everyone else did: ‘What do they want?’”
Elizabeth’s late husband, Prince Philip, reportedly shared similar concerns. Seward wrote that Philip saw parallels between Meghan and Wallis Simpson, the American divorcée whose relationship with Edward VIII led to his abdication and reshaped the royal lineage.
Despite these reservations, the queen maintained an outwardly cordial relationship with Meghan, even hosting her at private events. However, royal insiders contend that her goodwill was eroded by what she perceived as repeated acts of defiance and a lack of respect for tradition.
Fallout and Legacy
The queen’s death in September 2022 marked the last time Meghan set foot in the United Kingdom. Since then, Harry and Meghan’s life in America has faced its share of challenges, including business setbacks and waning public support. Meghan’s trademark application for her lifestyle brand, American Riviera Orchard, was denied, and Harry’s mental health startup, BetterUp, has been mired in controversy.
To some royal watchers, these struggles feel like poetic justice. “It’s as if the queen is getting revenge from the grave,” one insider remarked.
The ongoing revelations about the queen’s feelings toward Meghan highlight the complexities of their relationship and offer a glimpse into the challenges faced by the monarchy in navigating modernity. As royal historian Robert Hardman observed, “The queen believed in duty above all else. When that duty was questioned, it was deeply personal for her.”
Moving Forward
The rift between Harry, Meghan, and the royal family shows no signs of healing. However, the enduring legacy of Queen Elizabeth II offers a reminder of the institution’s resilience in the face of turmoil.
While Meghan and Harry continue to carve out their path in the United States, the monarchy presses on under King Charles III, with renewed efforts to modernize while preserving its traditions.
The revelations about the queen’s true feelings serve as a cautionary tale for those who dare to challenge the monarchy’s centuries-old customs. And for the British public, they reaffirm Elizabeth’s steadfast dedication to her role as sovereign, even in the face of personal and familial trials.
Jaja has a degree in journalism and took classes in international law and business communication. Her career spans roles at prominent international media outlets, including International Business Times, Celebeat and Delightful Philippines. As a news editor, Jaja covered a wide range of beats, including legal, business, economy, cryptocurrency, personal finance, gaming, technology, and entertainment.